Planning a trip to New York? Feel free to pack lightly, because women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. Yes, this is one of the many idiosyncratic laws in New York!
Contemplating suicide, but a little nervous about not succeeding? No worries: In New York, the penalty of jumping off a building is death, so if you fail they'll finish the job for you. What a considerate state.
If you run into one of those topless gals prowling around, make sure not to approach her with your thumb on your nose, wiggling your fingers. That greeting is illegal, and you may receive a $25 fine for the mild flirtation, or even "looking that way" at her. And this one is pretty serious truth be told. You get a second violation, and you're going to be wearing a pair of horse-blinders as you sight see.
Jesters, beware: In attempting to have some harmless fun, don't throw a ball at your pal's head. He may just press charges.
Stay away from Carmel, New York if you plan to wear a mismatched jacket and trousers, or the fashion police will be after you! I mean, we all know New York City is the fashion capital of the Western hemisphere, and Carmel doesn't take that too lightly - except when it comes to high heels: Those are not allowed to be worn within the city limits. Instead, be sure to take some fashionable tennis shoes, because you will most likely need them.
If you thought Carmel had some weird laws, check out Ocean City. Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited, pinball machines are a no-no on Sundays, raw hamburger may not be sold, and men may not appear topless in the middle of town (ladies are still welcome to). And absolutely no slurping your soup, my friend.
And please, please whatever you do, do not have pleasant conversation in the elevator. Instead, face forward, mouth shut, hands folded in front of you. After reading this and you still feel you can be on your very best behavior, book a vacation home and head over to New York state! It's a beautiful, exciting and wonderful place to be - if you are, in fact, a law-abiding citizen. Remember, laws are there to protect you and not hinder your good time.
