When my two daughters were 17 and 18, they finally convinced me that they were old enough to experience the rite of passage known as Spring Break in Panama City. While many of their high school and college buddies were making the trek without adult supervision, my husband and I decided we would chaperone our daughters and four of their cronies on the pilgrimage. After all, the girls would be out of our hair most of the time, and we figured we could have a little quiet, relaxing vacation of our own. In the world of terrible miscalculations, this idealic thought reigned supreme.

We had figured, how bad could it be? As a high school teacher, I was used to being surrounded by teens, so it would be a piece of cake. Hubby was a pretty cool guy, too, and he could take his fishing gear and do a little surf fishing. With 27 miles of beach, surely we could find an uncrowded spot somewhere for a little R and R. Right? WRONG!  

How I Survived Spring Break as a Chaperone

We arrived at the 3-bedroom condo in the middle of the night and went straight to sleep. When we woke up the next morning, the girls were already gone, in search of some spring break fun. Hubby ambled out to the balcony to check out the view, and soon returned, ashen-faced, mumbling and pointing in the general direction of the beach. I quickly stepped out to discover the source of his shock: Panama City beach was covered by a sea of skimpily-clad young bodies, and it wasn't even noon yet! Music, yelling, and laughter blared into our room. I knew it would only get worse as the day wore on, so I decided my best strategy was to give hubby a mild tranquilizer and sit him in front of the TV. He remained there for most of the week, in blissful ignorance.

Every March and April, Panama City rolls out the red carpet for thousands of students who come for the beautiful white sandy beach, the crystal clear emerald water, and the party. The town caters to these young folks, offering an endless supply of live bands, dance contests, swimsuit competitions, group challenges, strongman competitions, obstacle courses, and all sorts of party games with enticing giveaways. During the day, most of the action is found at the Holiday Inn Sunspree, Ramada Inn, Days Inn, and Paradise Found. MTV even sets up a Spring Break Village that includes live cams. (Inside tip: If you're a parent tagging along to keep a watchful eye, secure your lodging as far away as possible from these places!) 

Panama City's spring break night life is legendary. Hotspots include Coyote's, the famous Club La Vela, and Spinnaker, which is actually 20 clubs in one. Even if kids are under the legal drinking age of 21, most clubs allow 18-year-olds to join in the party, but they aren't allowed to drink. In reality, during spring break, many clubs and even law enforcement tend to "look the other way" when supposedly adhering to the age limit. They want everyone to have a great time as long as things don't get out of hand and safety is not compromised. The local police are not "out to get" young partiers, even though I'm sure they could make a fortune from under-age drinking citations. 

Panama City's Other Intoxicating Activities & Attractions

If the teens get bored with the abundance of non-stop partying, they can always entertain themselves with more mild activities, like miniature golf, go Karts, a water park, bungee jumping, an amusement park, arcades, a pirate cruise, or shopping in a number of trendy stores. Of course, there are all sorts of water sports available, like airboat rides, jet skiing, parasailing, wonderful snorkeling and scuba diving, and banana boat rides. For fishing, I suggest chartering an offshore trip, as any inshore or surf fishing would probably result in a bikini-clad 115-pound catch. The shallow waters are full of these creatures during spring break.

For some strange reason, Panama City does everything they can to entice spring breakers to their shores. An internet search for lodging returns surprisingly affordable rates for a full week of wild and crazy (but often harmless) fun, although I've wondered before if spring breakers even need a place to crash. It's as if they don't want to sleep because they're afraid they'll miss something. Sleep deprivation studies should be held here, as I'm sure some new records would be set.

Getting around Panama City Beach is an exciting activity for partiers and a nightmare for adults. Cruising up and down the beach drag gives breakers a chance to see and be seen. Driving to a nearby restaurant or store proves to be an adventure in itself, so to students, getting there is half the fun. Adults might want to use Back Beach Road, where the bumper-to-bumper young revelers are not quite as numerous. 

The Bikini-Bottom Line

Panama City Beach is a paradise for students - a virtual spring break mecca. For adults seeking peace and quiet, however, it closely resembles the ninth circle of Hell. I'm sure Brutus, Cassius, and Judas are lurking somewhere in the crowd. My advice? Send the kids with their friends, after a long lecture, or better yet, send them with an unsuspecting adult, one who has not experienced the appeal of spring break.

Despite all the nay-saying, spring break in Panama City is actually fairly safe. The chance that your daughter will be raped there is not any higher than the U.S. average. Just be sure she sticks with her pals and takes normal safety precautions. And as far as murder, robbery, and car theft go, a teen's chances of being a victim of one of these crimes during spring break is less than half the country's average. That should give parents a little peace of mind.

Let your offspring attend spring break in Panama City Beach and make memories that will last a lifetime. Most of the crowds there are just kids looking for fun - not for trouble. Search online early for the best deals on lodging packages, coupons, and activity passes. Then send them off, make yourself a drink, and be glad that your middle-aged sensibilities are not bombarded by wall-to-wall 24-7 partying students. Oh, you might want to say a prayer for the chaperones, too.

This sage advice was shared by our resident savvy traveler, but spring break weary parent, Holle Abee.

Now, that's a cool mom. But don't feel bad if you're a parent who just can't seem to let go, and want to spend those last few years of true parenthood traveling with your teenagers. If you're brave enough to chaperone a group of teens on spring break, consider renting a large beach house in Panama City, where you have room to get away from the kids and the noise. If you're a college student planning on spring break in Florida, free of parental supervision, look for Panama City Beach condo rentals that cater to spring breakers and rent to students under 25.